THREE POEMS by SCOTT CUMMING

BATH FART POEM


The bath fart sounded

like a note from a Shins song

Trying to drown another back ache

from a flying double knee drop

and soothe my orator's

Dog Man tired throat

The dumbest shit

makes you feel your age

Still 5 years younger than

the champ

yet immobilised

from not knowing when to

stop.

 

SELF PORTRAIT OF THE PORTLY POET AS ANOTHER SAD WHITE DUDE


I am a glutton

for nourishment

A waiver wire maven

A mediocre sitcom dad

A study in mild mannerisms

A rotten Swiss cheese wheel

wedged on the fence

A harbinger of fuck you

A scared, scatterbrained nobody

An insincere show off

grinning in the window

A court jester performing

for whoever's in earshot

A wannabe who feels nothing

in his achievements

A listless submitter

of listless lists

A man-sized boy with

another Christmas list

composed solely of toys

A commentator on shit

I know dick about

A binge watcher of old sitcoms

The fifth horseman

who couldn't work the reins

and suffered a debilitating brain injury

leaving me mortal

capable only of

staring out windows

and processing NFL fantasy kickers takes.

 

ALL MY POEMS COULD'VE BEEN TWEETS

Worried I'm writing the same poem

again and again

The act itself should seem enough

I'm not kidding anyone

Never could do a handstand

shoelaces were hard enough

Didn't ride my bike

'til I was 9

Automatic writing for the people

Plenty of pages left

to sop up the tears

Guess he had to write Shiny Happy People first

to figure out

Everybody Hurts


If I weren't anchored in pop culture

could I be a great thinker?

That historic fall down the stairs

maybe affected more than my vision

That petrol smell

Reminds me of youth

Another page and a half

of wasted pencil lead

to learn what I already knew.

 

Scott Cumming unsuspectingly went to see Garden State wearing his Shins tee. He has been published at The Daily Drunk, Punk Noir Magazine, Versification, and Shotgun Honey. His poem, “Blood on Snow”, was voted the best of the Outcast Press Poetry "Things We Carry" issue and nominated for a Pushcart. His collection, A Chapbook About Nothing, was released in December. Twitter: @tummidge. Website: scottcummingwriter.wordpress.com.