'ERIKA JAYNE WITH ONE HAND ON A BIBLE*' by ALEX CARRIGAN

ERIKA JAYNE WITH ONE HAND ON A BIBLE*


No, I did not compare myself to Christ,

someone else did and I reposted it.

Now everyone can have a pretend meltdown about it.


Y’all dumb bitches with

the conspiracy theories will keep at it

all night.

Check back in the AM.


God forbid I fight for myself.

Stop thinking I’ll quit just because you think I should.

Fuck that.


Now you KNOW

we’re going to beat my story to death.

There is no winning.


I really just want to have some fun,

it’s been so dark and heavy for everyone.


I also went to Petco and Target.


Three words:

Waste of money….


Cujo scared the shit outta me as a kid!

FRIGHTENING!!!


Relax,

I’m trolling. It’s not that deep.

Stop over analyzing my life.

Stress? Not my thing.


This sounds like extortion.

Nah… it’s the fees.

Always the fees plus costs.

Don’t be fooled…


Double Cancer, Aquarius moon.

90% Western European, 10% Native American.

Madagascar crocodile. Custom latex.


I was married to a Gemini for 20 years and also gave birth to one.


Have you tried Toradol? Super strong but works.

Only on certain occasions. I have to feel it.

I’m not a smoker, makes me hungry.


Carnitas

Mexican food??

Sour Patch Kids

Southern cooking

Hot Toddy!!


Someone just sent me some yummy cannolis,

so goodnight, Twitter.

I’m going to enjoy myself.


Thank you to everyone that is supportive and understanding.

Tell your mom congratulations.




*Note: Every line of this poem came from Erika Girardi’s official Twitter account, @erikajayne.

 

Alex Carrigan (@carriganak) is an editor, writer, and critic from Virginia. He has had fiction, poetry, and literary reviews published in Quail Bell Magazine, Lambda Literary Review, Empty Mirror, Gertrude Press, Quarterly West, Whale Road Review, 'Stories About Penises' (Guts Publishing, 2019), 'Closet Cases: Queers on What We Wear' (Et Alia Press, 2020), 'ImageOutWrite Vol. 9,' and 'Last Day, First Day Vol. 2.' He is also the co-editor of 'Please Welcome to the Stage...: A Drag Literary Anthology' with House of Lobsters Literary.