THE SHEEPLE OF PINEWOOD AVENUE: A DOCUMENTARY
Every Wednesday night, at exactly 7 PM, the men of Pinewood Avenue come out their front doors to mow the lawn. Mowing lawns is a man’s job.
On Thursdays all the hedges on Pinewood Avenue are clipped to perfection. Every night at exactly 7 PM, the woman of each house comes out the front door to clip her hedges because clipping hedges is a woman’s job.
On Friday night all the families of Pinewood Avenue (each one consisting of Dad, Mom and Child) load into their cars and travel to their local grocery store. This is their only variation; each person is allowed to purchase their food based on their dietary needs and tastes.
On Saturday every family heads down to the local hall for socialization and teachings. There they will listen to their chosen leader speak of their responsibilities and duties as citizens of Pinewood Avenue. The leader reminds them, as she or he does every Saturday, of the rules and regulations on Pinewood Avenue, and that there will be no deviation from them. Nonconformity will not be tolerated and is punishable by law.
When the meeting is done mothers and fathers take their children to play dates because playing is a child’s job.
Sunday is more of the same.
On Monday, at 7 AM sharp, all the ladies on Pinewood avenue begin hanging out their laundry. Pants, skirts, shirts, socks and bedding. But never underclothes. It is forbidden to hang underwear in public.
Tuesdays on Pinewood Avenue all the children rake the lawn for each child must learn how life is lived on Pinewood Avenue. He or she must put into action what they learned about duty and responsibility on Saturday and Sunday if they are to be valuable citizens of Pinewood Avenue.
So each lawn is raked in preparation for Wednesday. Because every lawn on Pinewood Avenue is mowed on Wednesday night.
Kellee Kranendonk (she/her) has spent a lifetime writing. According to her late grandfather she was born with pen in one hand; paper in the other. She’s certain these days he would claim she was born clutching a laptop. She’s had over a hundred published works. She’s received honourable mentions, been shortlisted and a spotlight author and some of her pieces were to appear in a school book project. That didn’t pan out. Kellee’s been an editor, managed online writing groups, and one of her stories appeared in a bestselling anthology. She lives in Grand Lake Municipality, New Brunswick, Canada. [Twitter & Instagram]